I Need To Get Lost

It’s mid-January, and now more than ever, I am feeling restless for the next journey of my life.

Freshly graduated from college with a full-time job and a list of plans, I’ve never felt more excited to go. To just pick up my things, quit worrying about the what-ifs, and just go. 

But life has it’s way of creeping up on us. The rational parts of our brain that say, “No, stop. You haven’t thought this through enough. You have no idea what you’re doing. You need to wait, stop, and be smart.”

I’ve always listened to that little voice in my head. The smart, calm,  over-thinking one. The one that makes me buckle up my seat belt, the one that insists on lists, the one that drives the men in my life crazy when I over-analyze my (and their) every move.

But I am tired of listening to this voice. Sometimes this voice is wrong. Sometimes this voice is fear that keeps us back from living happy, complicated, wonderful lives.

I saw this car when I was visiting San Diego for the first time. I had just climbed Cowles Mountain and I was feeling (literally and metaphorically) on top of the world.

IMG_20130725_151149

Don’t ask why (maybe I’m a little crazy) but I snapped a picture of it. It was the quote. It spoke to me in that moment. The idea of getting lost, on purpose. The idea of finding something you are passionate about, someone you are passionate about, and going. Not really having a set plan or direction, but just believing in things like love and dreams.

Of course my type-A radar is going off right about now, as I look back at that picture and wish myself back in that post-adrenaline, post-climb, carefree moment.

I have always been rational, smart, deep-thinking. I admire that in myself. But as the snow keeps falling and my dreams keep flitting about in my head, I’ve never felt more than ready for a change. Sometimes you have to just go and get lost.

I tell myself this. And I tell myself that it’s okay to not know all the answers. That’s the beautiful part of living: you don’t have all the answers, and won’t ever. You just have to go, to trust that it will work out, to push yourself, to be the best, to be yourself, and to get lost. Because on that journey of being lost, you will ultimately find that you’re right where you’re meant to be.

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