Loving Yourself Is HARD

Self-love is a very abstract concept sometimes. What does it mean to truly ‘love yourself’? And will you ever reach a point of total acceptance? Of calm? Of peace? To be honest, I’ve been wrestling with this idea for a while. And writing about it over and over, trying to make sense of how we must find ways to choose ourselves, to put ourselves first, to appreciate who we are…and yet, also push back against all the ways we might fall to stagnancy. We must always try to be better, stronger, more.

Here are some of my thoughts on self-love:

“For the longest time, I saw self-love as this destination. Once I had a, b, and c, then I would finally be the woman I was meant to be, would finally look in the mirror and smile. My concept of self was defined by everything external, by everything material, by everything superficial—and I completely neglected my inner thoughts, my heart, my emotion, which is the driving force behind any self-love journey.

Once I realized that I wasn’t going to reach this perfect place of acceptance, but that I would constantly fight against the world, against the media, against my former and future selves, against my mind—I found that I was actually doing just fine.

I didn’t need to look in the mirror and see my blemishes before my beauty. I didn’t need to surround myself with people and things that told me to change. I didn’t need to reach for this place of absolute approval, or perfection, or wholeness, or joy, over every little piece of me because I am forever changing and evolving and becoming new versions of myself.

And I don’t have to apologize for that.”